America's Worst-Designed Backup Plan

Well, the Constitution says

what happens next is the vice president assumes

the powers and duties of the office.

Simple enough, but one back-up president

is none back up president.

So what happens next next?

The Constitution left this question

as homework for the new Congress.

Important homework, yes.

Due date, no.

So Congress sort of worked on succession,

with inconsistent and conflicting drafts,

but mostly procrastinated on properly finishing

for two hundred years.

Finally turning in the 25th Amendment.

Better late than never.

Though, in the meantime,

a president had died in office

not once, not twice, not thrice, not quadrice,

not quintice, not hexice, nor septice, but octagonalice!

Four natural causes.

Four assassinations.

[It was Garfield and McKinley.]

This survival record was only 80%.

And even counting to today,

the president is technically

the most deadly job in America.

But the odds are, when you become president,

you must roll the celestial 2D6,

and if you roll a seven you die in office.

Whoof.

Don't spend a lot of time in Vegas with those odds.

So the veep becomes the peep

and picks a new veep

who must be confirmed by a majority vote

of both houses of Congress.

If this happens quickly, then hunky-dory.

Everything is reset.

But getting a VP nominee approved