Best of Charlie Harper (Compilation) | Two and a Half Men | TV Land

Oh, Charlie, I haven't seen you in a while, what's going on?

Well, for the last couple of years I've been trying really hard to have a...

Meaningful relationship.

[kissing]

I think I love you, Charlie Harper.

Thank you.

[coughing]

[choking]

So, what? Are you just gonna swallow that?

[laughing]

Charlie, talk to me.

Alright.

You know what I'm gonna do to you? You dirty, filthy girl.

[laughing]

- No, not like that. - Wrong way?

Am I a dirty, filthy boy?

[laughing]

No, I wanna talk about us.

We're a dirty, filthy couple.

[laughing]

Anyway, I've tried all that, it didn't help.

Well there is one other option but it's kind of a last resort.

What's that?

Have you considered having breast reduction surgery?

[laughing]

Something's wrong.

- Charlie Harper? - Yeah?

[punching]

Keep your hands off my wife.

Did you really think that you could just end this?

I was kinda hoping.

Don't you realize that our souls are now bound together,

destined to write ecstatically in blessed hellfire for all eternity?

[laughing]

Boy, I know how to pick 'em, don't I?

Charlie, look at me!

[laughing]

Hey, how do you know my name?

It's me.