Boys Don't Cry (Except When They Do)

[light piano music]

You've probably heard the old adage,

"Boys don't cry"

That sentiment has been floating around

in our culture for a very long time.

It's a curious phrase though, isn't it?

When we hear someone say

"Boys don't cry",

we know it isn't meant literally.

That is, we know that boys,

and by extension men, do, in fact, cry.

We see it all the time.

Both in real life -

and at the movies.

Even tough guy characters cry, occasionally.

So, what does that phrase really mean?

Well, "boys don't cry" is an assertion of

a cultural ideal for manhood.

Spencer: "Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry."

What most people mean is closer to,

"Boys aren't supposed to cry."

Daniel Plainview: "Stop crying, you sniveling ass! Stop your nonsense!"

But even that isn't entirely accurate.

Because there are a few situations where crying is permitted.

Ron Swanson: "Crying, acceptable at funerals, and the Grand Canyon."

So, the more accurate statement would be,

"Boys aren't supposed to cry, except under a narrow set of circumstances."

It doesn't really have the same ring to it.

Romeo: (crying) "I defy you stars!"

But it's that narrow set of circumstances that we're going to focus on

in this video.

Because those moments of vulnerability, however brief, can tell us a lot about

the construction of masculinity.

Now, I wanna be clear that the inclusion of a movie or a TV show in this video,

does not necessarily equal criticism of it.

In many of the examples we'll be looking at, the tears are entirely appropriate.

Some of the scenes are incredibly powerful,

and the actors' performances truly inspired.

Roy: "Like... tears... in rain."