Conan & Jordan Visit The Toto Toilet Showroom | CONAN on TBS

I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking that right now I'm on the set of Westworld

or J.J. Abrams' latest sci-fi futuristic concoction,

but no.

I'm at the Toto Toilet showroom in Tokyo.

Joining me right now is a huge fan of Japanese toilets.

He's talked about them quite a bit over the years.

Jordan Schlansky.

Jordan, tell me, what is it about Toto Japanese toilets

that you love so much?

I love any toilet bowl that washes your anus.

People wash every other part of their body

that is never as dirty with soap and water,

but the anus, they say, don't worry about it,

just use this paper.

I just don't understand.

Even while the rest of the world washes the anus,

the United States sits back and says, no, we're okay,

because a little piece of paper does just as good a job.

Now I ask you, you're a proud American,

are you confident in the cleanliness of your anus?

That's the most patriotic speech,

I've heard any American give in a long time.

Meet Mr. Kuwahara.

You--hi. You work here.

Oh hi.

I already did.

Just do it again.

Oh, look at that.

My friend is only interested--

what happened?

Oh it sterilized--I thought...

I thought it was making a point of some kind.

You're welcome to speak anytime.

My friend only wishes a toilet with washing capabilities.

I don't believe washing one's anus should be a luxury.

I believe washing one's anus is a right, not a privilege.

Yeah. John F. Kennedy, I think said,

we have the right and privilege,