- Hey. - Hey.

Whoa, whoa.

So I'm guessing you didn't get the part

or Italy called and said it was hungry.

The part's mine if I want it.

- Oh, my God! - Yeah.

If I'm willing to sleep with the casting lady.

Oh, my..

...God.

Ten years I've been waiting for a break

like this Chandler, ten years.

I mean, "Days of Our Lives"

that's actually on television.

So what are you gonna do?

I guess I could sleep with her, I mean..

But how can I do that?

Well, I-I've got a pop up book

that told me everything I need to know.

I've never slept with someone for a part.

Well, is she..

- Sorry. - It's alright.

- Is she good-looking? - Yeah.

She's totally good-looking.

I mean, if I met her in a bar or something

I'd be buying her breakfast.

You know, after having slept with her.

You know, maybe this isn't such a big deal.

You know, I mean, the way that I see it is.

You get a great job and you get to have sex.

You know, I mean, throw in a tree and a fat guy

and you've got Christmas.

I just, I just don't think that I want

it that way though, you know?

I mean, let's say I do make it, alright.

I'm always gonna look back and wonder

if it was because of my talent

or because of, you know..

...the little general.

Didn't you used to call it the little major?