from the book "I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream."
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limp
Limp, the body of Gorrister hung from the pink palette
shiver
and it did not shiver in the chill
cavern
oily breeze that blew eternally through the main cavern
sole
The body hung head down, attached to the underside of the palette by the sole of its right foot
incision
It had been drained of blood through a precise incision made from ear to ear under the lantern jaw
dupe
AM had duped us
diversion
it had been a diversion on the part of the machine
vomit
Three of us had vomited, turning away from one another
nausea
a reflex as ancient as the nausea that had produced it
knelt
Ellen knelt down beside him and stroked his hair
canned goods
Nimdok was hallucinating that there were canned goods in the ice caverns
dubious
Gorrister and I were very dubious
shuck
"It's another shuck," I told them
hail
Hot, cold, hail, lava, boils or locusts it never mattered
have to take it
the machine masturbated and we had to take it or die
cease
Even that had ceased to matter
snicker
Loud, up there, back there, all around us, he snickered
deranged
God as Daddy the Deranged
passage
The passage of time was important; not to us, sure as hell, but to him
blistering
It was only a hundred miles or so to the ice caverns, and the second day , when we were lying out under the blistering sun-thing he had materialized
manna
he sent down some manna
boar
Tasted like boiled boar urine. We ate it
obsolescence
On the third day we passed through a valley of obsolescence, filled with rusting carcasses of ancient computer banks
ruthless
AM had been as ruthless with its own life as with ours
strive
It was a mark of his personality: it strove for perfection
whether
Whether it was a matter of killing off unproductive
bulk
in his own world-filling bulk
virtually
There was virtually nothing out there; had been nothing that could be considered anything for over a hundred years
blast
Only the blasted skin of what had once been the home of billions
frantically
I heard Ellen saying frantically, "No, Benny! Don't, come on, Benny, don't please!"
murmur
And then I realized I had been hearing Benny murmuring, under his breath
beatific
His monkey-like face was crumbled up in an expression of beatific delight and sadness, all at the same time
scar
The radiation scars AM had given him during the "festival"
pucker
a mass of pink-white puckerings
stark
Perhaps Benny was the luckiest of the five of us: he had gone stark, staring mad many years before.
foul
But even though we could call AM any damned thing we liked, could think the foulest thoughts
fuse
thoughts of fused memory banks
corrode
corroded base plates
circuit
burnt out circuits
shatter
shattered control bubbles
scramble
He scrambled up the face of a smaller memory cube
tilt
a smaller memory cube, tilted on its side and filled with rotted components
squat
He squatted there for a moment, looking like the chimpanzee AM had intended him to resemble
trail
Then he leaped high, caught a trailing beam
pit
a trailing beam of pitted and corroded metal
girdered ledge
he went up it, hand-over-hand like an animal, till he was on a girdered ledge, twenty feet above us.
cut off
"please, help him, get him down before" She cut off
concern
And besides, we all saw through her concern
alter
AM had altered Benny
utterly
the machine's utterly irrational
phase
hysterical phase
as a matter of course
She serviced us, as a matter of course
pedestal
Oh Ellen, pedestal Ellen
pristine
pristine-pure Ellen
Scum
Scum filth
slump
She slumped down, staring up at poor loonie Benny, and she cried
sonority
something that began to glow from Benny's eyes, and pulse with growing loudness, dim sonorities
mewl
the pain must have been increasing with the boldness of the light, the rising volume of the sound, for Benny began to mewl
hunch
his shoulders hunched together
dim
At first softly, when the light was dim and the sound was muted
hump
his back humped, as though he was trying to get away from it
chipmunk
His hands folded across his chest like a chipmunk's
pinch
The sad little monkey-face pinched
anguish
The sad little monkey-face pinched in anguish
erect
And Benny was suddenly pulled erect
girder
On the girder he stood up, jerked to his feet like a puppet
incomprehensible
The sound crawled up and up some incomprehensible scale, and then he fell forward, straight down, and hit the plate-steel floor with a crash
spastic
He lay there jerking spastically as the light flowed around and around him and the sound spiraled up out of normal range
punk
AM provided punk and we burned it
huddle
AM provided punk and we burned it, sitting huddled
wan
AM provided punk and we burned it, sitting huddled around the wan and pathetic fire, telling stories to keep Benny from crying in his permanent night
sequence
We had done this sequence a thousand times before, but it was Benny's favorite story
menace
The sound spiraled up till it sounded like a million metallic insects, angry, menacing
cogito
cogito ergo sum
ergo
what it meant was I am cogito ergo sum — I think, therefore I am
sum
what it meant was I am cogito ergo sum — I think, therefore I am
fist
Benny was beating on the floorplates with a large, hard fist
shaft
They sank the first shafts and began building AM
spittle
Ellen wiped the spittle from the corner of his mouth with the hem of her skirt
succinctly
Gorrister always tried to tell it a little more succinctly each time, but beyond the bare facts there was nothing to say
puppet
On the girder he stood up, jerked to his feet like a puppet
pus
His eyes were two soft, moist pools of pus-like jelly
sentience
later on it developed sentience and linked itself up and they called it an Aggressive Menace
hem
Ellen wiped the spittle from the corner of his mouth with the hem of her skirt
accustom
She hadn't become accustomed to it, even now
resignation
"No, Ted, sit down what if he's got pits out there, or something else, we can't see, it's too dark." Gorrister said it with resignation
shamble
Huge, shambling, hairy, moist, it came toward us
hairy
Huge, shambling, hairy, moist, it came toward us
ponderous
We couldn't even see it, but there was the ponderous impression of bulk, heaving itself toward
slide
Ellen slid across the metal floor to Gorrister and huddled into him
mat
There was the smell of matted, wet fur in the cavern
char
There was the smell of charred wood
velvet
There was the smell of dusty velvet
orchid
There was the smell of rotting orchids
sulphur
There was the smell of sulphur
rancid
There was the smell of sulphur, of rancid butter
slick
There was the smell of sulphur, of rancid butter, of oil slick
grease
There was the smell of sulphur, of rancid butter, of oil slick, of grease, of chalk dust, of human scalps
tickle
He was tickling us
hinge
I heard myself shriek, and the hinges of my jaws ached
scuttle
I scuttled across the floor , across the cold metal
rivet
I scuttled across the floor , across the cold metal with its endless lines of rivets, on my hands and knees
gag
the smell gagging me, filling my head with a thunderous pain that sent me away in horror
inexorable
I fled like a cockroach, across the floor and out into the darkness, that something moving inexorably after me
choir
The others were still back there, gathered around the firelight, laughing their hysterical choir of insane giggles
chide
Ellen chided me
sulk
Ellen chided me for "sulking"
persuade
Nimdok tried to persuade me it had only been a nervous reflex on their part the laughing
rejuvenate
We had been kept alive, rejuvenated, made to remain constantly at the age we had been when AM had brought us below
simian
Benny had been a brilliant theorist, a college professor; now he was little more than a semi-human, semi-simian
lucid
He had been lucid, the machine had driven him mad
marcher
he was a peace marcher; he was a planner, a doer, a looker-ahead
douche
That douche bag!
depth
They were surely against me, and AM could even sense this hatred, and made it worse for me because of the depth of their hatred
conscientious
He was a connie, a conscientious objector
objector
He was a connie, a conscientious objector
tamper
AM had not tampered with my mind
verbalize
I was able to verbalize it: AM was intent on keeping us in his belly forever, twisting and torturing us forever
hideously
It also became hideously clear: If there was a sweet Jesus and if there was a God, the God was AM
hurricane
all of us screaming in the freezing, thunderous hurricane wind that would never end and then suddenly it stopped and we fell
glacier
The hurricane hit us with the force of a glacier thundering into the sea
palpable
It was a palpable presence
hurl
Ellen screamed as she was lifted and hurled face-forward
shoal
she was lifted and hurled face- forward into a screaming shoal of machines
strident
their individual voices strident as bats in flight
aloft
The howling wind kept her aloft
buffet
buffeted her, bounced her, tossed her back and back and down and away from us, out of sight suddenly
swirl
she was swirled around a bend in the darkway
cling
We clung tenaciously
tenaciously
We clung tenaciously
outcropping
We clung tenaciously to whatever outcropping we had reached
wedge
Benny wedged in between two great crackle-finish cabinets
catwalk
Nimdok with fingers claw-formed over a railing circling a catwalk forty feet above us
plaster
Gorrister plastered upside-down against a wall
niche
a wall niche formed by two great machines
dial
two great machines with glass-faced dials
fathom
that swung back and forth between red and yellow lines whose meanings we could not even fathom
rip
Sliding across the deckplates, the tips of my fingers had been ripped away
frenzy
My mind was a roiling tinkling chittering softness of brain parts that expanded and contracted in quivering frenzy
terrain
over terrain that was ruined and filled with broken glass and rotting cables and rusted metal and far away
sentient
The machine hated us as no sentient creature had ever hated before
synapse
He looked at the cross-routed and reconnected synapses
tissue
all the tissue damage his gift of immortality had included
murmuring
He smiled softly at the pit that dropped into the center of my brain and the faint, moth-soft murmurings
gibber
far down there that gibbered without meaning, without pause
stainless
AM said, very politely, in a pillar of stainless steel bearing bright neon lettering
wafer
THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX
razor
AM said it with the sliding cold horror of a razor blade slicing my eyeball
phlegm
AM said it with the bubbling thickness of my lungs filling with phlegm, drowning me from within
leisure
AM touched me in every way I had ever been touched, and devised new ways, at his leisure, there inside my mind
Inadvertently
Inadvertently, of course, but sentience nonetheless
innate
And so, with the innate loathing that all machines had always held for the weak, soft creatures
reprieve
And in his paranoia, he had decided to reprieve five of us
diminish
everlasting punishment that would never serve to diminish his hatred that would merely keep him reminded, amused, proficient at hating man
digest
He was Earth, and we were the fruit of that Earth; and though he had eaten us, he would never digest us
pock
He walked smoothly here and there, and looked with interest at all the pock marks he had created in one hundred and nine years
pillar
a pillar of stainless steel bearing bright neon lettering
exquisite
I saw that when AM withdrew from my mind, and allowed me the exquisite ugliness of returning to consciousness
ram
ugliness of returning to consciousness with the feeling of that burning neon pillar still rammed deep into the soft gray brain matter
precisely
The hurricane had, indeed, precisely, been caused by a great mad bird
cause
The hurricane had, indeed, precisely, been caused by a great mad bird
sufficient
AM had allowed passages to open to us only sufficient to lead us up there, directly under the North Pole
infest
From his knowledge of everything that had ever been on this planet he now infested and ruled?
mythology
From Norse mythology it had sprung
carrion
this eagle, this carrion bird
grotesque
The words immense , monstrous, grotesque, massive
swollen
The words immense , monstrous, grotesque, massive, swollen, overpowering, beyond description
arch
its snake neck arching up into the gloom beneath the North Pole
conceive
the jaws of the most monstrous crocodile ever conceived
beak
a beak that opened slowly
sensuously
the jaws of the most monstrous crocodile ever conceived, sensuously
glacial
two evil eyes, as cold as the view down into a glacial crevasse
crevasse
two evil eyes, as cold as the view down into a glacial crevasse
talon
Then it settled and slept. Talons.
Fangs. Nails. Blades. It slept
fang
Then it settled and slept. Talons.
Fangs. Nails. Blades. It slept.
reassure
I was trying to be reassuring, but it was as phony
vanish
The burning bush vanished
crude
there were two crude sets of bows and arrows
swallow
Nimdok swallowed heavily
filth
We would be given filth
scum
We would be given filth and scum to eat, of one kind or another
earthquake
One day he decided to cause an earthquake, at the same time rooting us to the spot with nails through the soles of our shoes
fissure
Ellen and Nimdok were both caught when a fissure shot its lightning-bolt opening across the floorplates
abruptly
Ellen and Nimdok were returned to us later that night, which abruptly became a day
celestial
the heavenly legion bore them to us with a celestial chorus singing
chorus
the heavenly legion bore them to us with a celestial chorus singing
mangle
The archangels circled several times and then dropped the hideously mangled bodies
cauldron
Stomachs that were merely cauldrons of acid, bubbling, foaming
spear
always shooting spears of sliver-thin pain into our chests
ulcer
It was the pain of the terminal ulcer, terminal cancer , terminal paresis
slough
we passed through the slough of despond
gnaw
Benny shoved us away and went at them, and pawed them and gummed them and gnawed at them, and he could not open them
dent
The ice flew and shattered, but the can was merely dented
fling
Then Benny's mouth began to drool, and he flung himself on Gorrister
nutcracker
his hands locked around Gorrister's head like a nutcracker
jag
Gorrister screamed with such jagged-edged violence that stalactites fell
protrude
Spears, hundreds of them, everywhere, protruding from the snow
thigh
I drove the great ice-point ahead of me like a battering ram, braced against my right thigh
straddle
I pulled another spear free and straddled him
icicle
She ran at Nimdok with a short icicle
ebony
Ellen looked at me, her ebony features stark against the snow that surrounded us
plead
There was fear and pleading in her manner
contort
the pain had been too great, had contorted her face
accelerate
AM has been having fun for some time, accelerating and retarding my time sense
retard
AM has been having fun for some time, accelerating and retarding my time sense
locust
He roared and sent locusts
slaver
It was not even a shadow of the hate he now slavered from every printed circuit
intact
He left my mind intact
lament
I can dream, I can wonder, I can lament. I remember all four of them
instant
All in an instant
appendage
Rubbery appendages that were once my arms
blotch
Blotches of diseased, evil gray come and go on my surface
dumbly
dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human
travesty
a thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity
obscene
humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance
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