How do you spell your name again, Cady?

It's Cady, C.A.D.Y.

Yeah, I'm going to call you Cady.

In the name of all that is holy,

will you look at Karen Smith's gym clothes?

Of course all The Plastics are in the same gym class.

Who are The Plastics?

They're teen royalty. If North Shore was Us Weekly,

they would always be on the cover.

That one there, that's Karen Smith.

She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet.

Damian sat next to her in English last year.

She asked me how to spell "orange".

[chuckles]

And that little one? That's Gretchen Wieners.

She's totally rich

because her dad invented Toaster Strudel.

Gretchen Wieners knows everybody's business.

She knows everything about everyone.

That's why her hair is so big. It's full of secrets.

And evil takes a human form in Regina George.

Don't be fooled, because she may seem

like your typical selfish, back-stabbing,

slut-faced ho-bag. But in reality,

she is so much more than that.

She's the queen bee. The star.

Those other two are just her little workers.

Regina George.

How do I even begin to explain Regina George?

Regina George is flawless.

She has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus.

I hear her hair's insured for $10,000.

I hear she does car commercials. In Japan.

Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues .

One time, she met John Stamos on a plane.

And he told her she was pretty.

One time, she punched me in the face.

It was awesome.