The Alt-Right Playbook: I Hate Mondays

Say, for the sake of argument, it’s the start of another week at the office,

and you and your coworkers are

milling around the break room,

putting off getting to work,

because, until you sit down at your desk,

the week hasn’t actually started.

Mostly you’re chatting about

what you all got up to over the weekend

and how you can’t wait for the next season of Killing Eve,

but then The New Guy,

who doesn’t know any better,

starts talking about

the healthcare system

and what he thinks is wrong with it.

The rest of you all know what this means:

if talk turns political, you have to hear the opinions of…

the guy from payroll.

Guy from Payroll takes issue

with The New Guy’s comments about how

patients in many other countries

pay less for better outcomes.

Guy from Payroll thinks

overhauling the healthcare system

would be a long and difficult process

to create a system where he would pay higher taxes

and have fewer options,

and all for what?

He doubts socialized medicine

–if it even worked–

would be worth the tradeoffs,

and even lets slip the phrase…

do democrats think they can live forever?

[Long, awkward beat]

To cut the tension,

someone starts talking about their kids, who’ve just started at a new school.

But talking about school leads to

talking about safety drills,

and talking about safety drills leads to

talking about school shootings,